Klaske van Sluis

140 8.4. Results required assistance from their husband, relatives or a household help reported they had difficulties transitioning from being the care provider to being its re- cipient. They found it hard to delegate or outsource tasks such as cooking or cleaning: Taking care of the household and not wanting to delegate [tasks] (...) is really very difficult for me. (...) I now need a whole week for things that previously took me one day to accomplish. (Participant 5) Respondents who regularly took care of children, especially (grand)mothers, mentioned that it was difficult for them to warn a child in a dangerous situation, and experienced challenges while singing or reading books. Just calling out to capture a child’s attention in public also proved potentially embarrassing—and therefore more challenging: And with my kids, (...) at the shops, I would clap my hands and then they’d know: ‘Oh, mama is calling’. Because I didn’t want to [shout] then, in such a shopping mall. (...) You really don’t want to stand out [with your unusual voice], then. (Participant 7) 8.4.3 Persistent vulnerability The third theme identified in the interviews was persistent vulnerability. Al- though participants found various ways to return to the daily activities, they experienced vulnerability, including physical disabilities, dependence on others for support, and stigma. Physical disabilities Participants were confronted with a number of ongoing physical changes in breathing, swallowing, speaking and appearance. The physical limitations of the tracheo-esophageal voice made respondents apprehensive about situations where they were dependent on their verbal abilities. One participant noted that she feared being unable to call for help during an emergency due to living alone: It is a lot harder when you’re single; (...) being unable to talk is very frightening (...) when you’re home alone and thinking that you’re choking or something (Participant 4) All respondents reported consciousness of dealing with water in daily settings, such as being on a boat, cycling near open water or taking a shower. Dependency on others Due to the changes after total laryngectomy described above, some participants reported a continuous dependency on their social network and on healthcare. In