Gersten Jonker

96   Chapter 4 Most of the time I felt quite calm. Except for that tunnel vision [I had]. But I certainly didn’t experience a panic attack. (P11) I was pleasantly surprised to find I stayed calm and was still able to think, especially as I want to specialize in anesthesiology. But, of course, the real world is different. I knew it was a manikin, and a disastrous situation was going to be created. You do realize something is going to happen that won’t necessarily be my fault; I just need to solve it to my best ability. (P10) Role and performance The setup with a “non-obstructive” nurse requiring instructions forced the students into the role of doctor, and this situation was novel, exciting, and impressive for the participants. I felt like a real doctor in the simulation. This was one of the few times I felt completely responsible for a patient. I realized this immediately. And it felt quite good. (P2) I particularly enjoyed the independence one had to demonstrate. It makes me thrive. I find it amazing. . . . Having to give very precise orders to make sure something gets done is something I really enjoyed. (P9) Amajority of the participants indicated that they focused on medical management, and this focus kept feelings about the patient at bay. However, many mentioned feelings of doubt and worry about their performance, and these feelings were “unpleasant” and “a shocking revelation”. I was primarily occupied by my own medical competence and incompetence, so I wasn’t thinking, “Darn, I am losing that patient.” (P2) A junior doctor on his first evening shift, with realistically too little ability. That’s what I felt like. (P4) It also made students feel “unprofessional” when not giving clear instructions to the nurse or retracting them: I felt like crawling into a corner. . . . It was like, “Oh dear, I am sending her [the nurse] all over the shop!” (P6) Perceptions of poor performance significantly contributed to stress.