Donna Frost

Chapter 6 200 Such support could be given in the sense of being alongside, for example, offering comfort or companionship, coaching or bearingwitness in times of grief or suffering, as in the following example. Mrs. D lost her 43 year old son to a haemorrhage from oesophageal varices. It is a messy and frightening way to die. She was not in the room at the time of death, although she had been there when her son had started to vomit up blood. Pieter (member of the NP inquiry) had been nursing this patient, working frantically with other members of the team to try and save his life. When interventions were unsuccessful Pieter had hurriedly cleaned himself up, removing his gloves and apron, wiping the blood from his shoes and calmed himself enough to bring the news to Mrs D. He said, when looking back on that moment: The adrenaline was still coursing through my body, the fierce energy and disappointment mixing together. It is, I think, a particularly awful way to die. An awful thing to have to imagine your son going through. I remember hoping his mother had not really seen enough to form an image of the bleeding or of his panic. (JanNPI-Mtg 9 -Rec 1 of 5 -p 6 ) Pieter did not approach Mrs D to ask if she would participate in the inquiry. She, however, had seen the information on the ward and had spoken to someone else who had shared their story with Pieter and another NP inquirer. She asked if she could talk with one of us to let us know what an impression Pieter and his way of supporting her during this crisis had made on her. This is part of her account: He [Pieter] didn’t turn away, he looked me in the eye and shook his head. Then he told me and stayed with me. Helped me sit down I think. I don’t really know. I was sitting, all at once, and he was there. There were no words and he didn’t ask me anything or expect me to speak. He stayed with me and I don’t know for how long but he stayed with me until I could stand and face going into the room. (NPI- 2014 Fam 10 Con-pp 2 - 3 )