Elien Neimeijer

76 “ If I go outside the clinic, I first think about how much time I need and then I discuss this with the sociotherapists. Then we make the appointment together. I like that” (Harry). “ I am not a twelve year old child. We are all adults, and that is sometimes forgotten. Please note that the way people say things makes it more or less easy for me to accept things and that it should above all be a respectful way of saying things and not an authoritarian one” (Oscar). “ I would like to see a prostitute. (...) Then I was told that it was not possible yet. I would like to see them explain and tell me what they expect from me. I want to know why it’s not possible and what I have to achieve, own or control so that I do can go there” (Thomas). When rules, boundaries and agreements are nevertheless used as a means to provide support and safety, the participants, like Harry, Oscar, and Thomas, indicate that it is important that sociotherapists do this in a respectful and mature way, explaining to them why these measures are being taken. Participants, like Harry, would also like to have a voice in how these restrictions look like and they want these restrictions be enforced in a consistent manner, because failure to enforce them consistently leads to uncertainty and can lead to an increase in problem behaviour. Finally, the participants, like Thomas, would like to know how, when and in what way these restrictions in autonomy will be settled. According to participants, it is crucial that the sociotherapist understands their individual characteristics and the relatively need for support in relation to the individual need for space and autonomy. 2. Recognition: Hear, see and understand what I say and what I don’t say “ In the beginning people thought when I was angry and when I cursed and raged: oh, he is losing his mind again. But you can also ask yourself, what’s going on in his head? What is going on? Could we solve those puzzle pieces? (…) Sociotherapists shouldn’t pretend to be some kind of superman who can help all the people here. Or that they have life experience (...) If you have experienced the same as I did you would also be here in this clinic, you would also have been to prison (...) It’s better to say: “I understand your