Chapter 4 84 “Me as a woman? Yes, I think the most important thing is my need to share my emotions without anyone coming up with advice. I’m a bit allergic to that. Yes, just tell my story. And I think I can talk about that better with women in general than with men. Yes, a friend of mine who is solution oriented. My girlfriends’ men often do too. Yes, but I need to go to a deeper level. I think that’s the most important thing about being a woman. I recognize it more in women in general.” [Interview 25, Woman]* One man stated that he felt somewhat uncomfortable asking for help as a man while bringing forward a masculine norm related to ‘having physical strength’ that is increasingly impacted by PD. “Interviewee: Maybe [as a man] you should ask for help sooner. That women -- Yeah, not all women, of course, then you generalize ‘the helpless woman’. But I don’t want to be the helpless man of course. Interviewer: With what kind of things would you find that annoying? Interviewee: Well, the power also gradually diminishes in your hands. So, suppose you have to ask someone else “can you open that bottle for me?” Now I’m the one who unscrews the bottle when it’s stuck and things like that, little practical things. Yes, you don’t know which way it’s going, do you, how I’m going to walk in the future or not be able to walk anymore. I have no idea.” [Interview 14, Man]* Gendered help-seeking behaviours Several answers of the participants about the salience of gender in their lived experiences with PD referred to stereotypical gender traits or behaviours regarding help-seeking behaviours of men and women in general. Multiple women expressed that they felt little to no barriers in asking for help in general. This was partly explained by a more overall comfortability among the women to talk about their emotions with others. Some men confirmed this as a stereotypical characteristic of women, though they did not directly express that they personally felt more difficulties in asking for help [Interview 31, Man], [Interview 18, Man], [Interview 15, Man]. Yet, one woman explained the low threshold in asking for help as a way to cope with multitasking the many responsibilities in household, childcare and professional jobs. “Well, I think women of… Yeah, it’s a bit of a generalization of course, generally do more multi-tasking. So that is what I experience. And that women do more in the household, with the children, with the job. They have more control and remember everything and know where everything is. Men are slightly more focused on the
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