269 Basic Attitude and the Art of Living Together 8 will vanish, a new awareness of one’s susceptibility will be helpful throughout a teacher’s whole career. PO3 elaborates on PI4’s comparison of the formational process with the kneading of clay that should not become too hard, which is a much better metaphor than another commonly used metaphor—namely, to see one’s identity as a wooden ship. The clay metaphor is open for kneading, while the wooden ship metaphor is fearful of change. If the wooden ship is missing a plank, it takes in water and will soon capsize; if the clay is kneaded, its core is not in immediate danger. PI1 agrees that the clay metaphor is better but observes that students often think of themselves as being really open towards others, whereas what they are actually saying shows more of an interest in getting their message across than in really listening to others. PO4 and PI4 recognise this and think that the latter is exactly what students need to learn, not only in terms of the religious other but also as part of citizenship formation in general. To accept that one can learn a lot more from others can be a difficult lesson, but PI1, PO2, PO3 and PO4 all agree that a context of diversity can be especially confusing but, at the same time, helpful in generating this insight. What students need, according to the analysis of PI2 and PI3, is to mirror themselves with regard to others and to share that mirroring within the safe space of their own community. PO4 adds that they need others they trust to come back to. PI2 concludes that small steps outside of the comfort zone are more helpful than huge steps. PI1 summarises that, for younger children, a teacher’s attitude can be one of ‘working for’ and ‘working with’, although students need to practice the attitude of ‘being with’. For PO4, this conclusion is in line with the basic pedagogical triad of relation, competence and autonomy. While this triad is always important, as the student grows older the goal of being an autonomous self becomes more urgent. PI2 and PI3 underline this need, especially for the training of teachers. Based on the summary of the conversation during the 11th meeting, it can be concluded that the conversational community stresses the importance of students learning to be with others. An attitude of ‘being with’, as described by Wells (2015), creates space for real interest in others, vulnerability in oneself and the possibility of creating a community in which one can be with others to be finally able to live and work together. This conclusion offers some details to the more general wish for an attitude of openness. As the conversational community experienced that students sometimes fear this openness and feel obliged to put forward as soon as possible the central message of their own religious identity, it decided to elaborate on this topic further. This decision was made, as described in Section 1, in the crucial 14th meeting and put in practice in the 15th meeting. The topic the conversational community selected
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